Archive for psychopath

How I choose my victims

Posted in Diary with tags , , , , , on September 22, 2009 by J.A.C.K.

Many people ask me how do I choose my victims. I know they ask me that because they are afraid to be chosen (they should be). The thing is that there are no rules.

It’s the same as to decide between a blue or green t-shirt. I would pick the blue one but there is no explanation, it’s just because I like it better, for no logical reason.

As I said on one of my posts, sometimes I choose the person, sometimes I choose a place. When I find a street, an alley, anywhere very easy to strike and get away, and my hunger is already affecting me, I can’t hold myself. I wait on that place, and then I choose someone in there. But who I’m going to choose, there is no explanation how. I just choose one.
But what I like the most is to choose someone first, and having to plan everything, get to know their routine, choose a place to strike, how to get away. All the planning process is very fulfilling. On this stage, I can picture the murder a lot of times before I do it for real. And I choose this person the same why I pick a T-shirt color. I just pick one.

And a third method is when there is someone bothering me, like those detectives of that “secret organization”. I really enjoy getting rid of them, killing one by one. But I have to be very careful. If the person can be directly linked to you, it’s a lot easier to get caught. If they can’t, it’s nearly impossible if it’s done right.

So, don’t worry. There is no way to prevent from being chosen by me or someone like me. There is no way to escape as well. Just live your life knowing that it can possibly happen. And if it happens, enjoy, because I will.

Murder without remorse

Posted in Diary with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 11, 2009 by J.A.C.K.

I have been thinking about my childhood these days. Usually when things happened to me, like when I heard that somebody had died or had suffered an accident, or even when I had a “date”, I didn’t feel a thing. I was never sad or happy. But I could notice how people behaved on those situations, and I thought it was something they’d learned. So I used to think I didn’t know how I should feel because I was still too young.

So I started to observe and learn how I was expected to answer to every situation, so I could copy it. The movies were one of the sources to my learning process. I didn’t pretend anything just because I knew I had to hide who I really was, but because I thought everyone was just like me and that was the normal thing to do, to pretend emotions.

Now that I’m an adult, with all my experience, I’m still not sure if people can actually feel what they show or if they’ve learned it just like me. I mean, I’ve watched on documentaries and read on books about serial killers that the main difference about me and the “normal” are the emotions, that psychopaths don’t have feelings. And I am really like this.
But sometimes I think if in reality people in general don’t mix their feelings with what they are expected to feel. If they don’t pretend it just like me to seen like the others. If it is just something they were taught.

It’s not the first time I question it to myself because that’s something I really would like to know. The real difference between me and the “others” maybe is just a very thin line. It doesn’t really matter to me, it will make no difference to my life, but that’s a big curiosity I have.

To the crazy, the normal is crazy. Who are the “normal” in our world? Should I really be condemned and persecuted or follow? That’s something you should ask to yourself and learn with your instincts. And if you can, share with me.