Archive for addiction

Eternal hate

Posted in Diary with tags , , , on November 23, 2009 by J.A.C.K.

I’ve been trying to control myself. I have no reason why, but I wanted to observe how addicted I am. Never try this at home. It’s not worth it.

I’m a monster (for the others), addicted to death, a vampire fed by pain and suffering. That’s who I am, who I always will be.
I wanted to put it on a try, to see how it’s like to be “normal”, as you call it. I’m not. I am who I am. And that’s what I’m meant to be.

First week it was ok, I thought it was not that hard. Second week I almost succumbed. Forth week I would kill anything that moves. And that’s what I did.

I killed the first one I saw. And it was SO good. I had the deepest regret to put me on a try. What I was thinking? I’ve always been like this, I can’t change now, and I don’t want to.

So what many people hate me, even not knowing who I am? So what it’s against the law, who made the laws anyway? So what I end with families, dreams and futures. That’s who I am. My hate, my hunger, myself, will always be with me. Eternally.