A killer’s past

I dream with death. I mean, I have dreams, not nightmares.
I dream with killing, with blood, corpses, human parts.
That’s what I see when I’m sleeping. That’s what I feel even when I’m in bed, with my eyes closed.
And this is a good feeling. I know that’s the hardest part for you to understand, but it really is a good, natural sensation. There is nothing bizarre on it, at least for me. It’s a fulfilling pleasure, so good that I even dream with!

How can that be bad? If it’s, than I was meant to be bad. I’ve born like this.
And I know many are born like me.

I’ve not only been born like this, but I was made who I am.
I didn’t have a normal past. It’s not that I believe anybody does because there isn’t such a thing as normal, but I had a pretty hard childhood (at least that’s what I used to think at the time).

I spent 12 years locked into a stranger’s basement, been treated like an animal. I didn’t know the outside world, the world didn’t know me. All I got to see was pain, and suffering, and blood, and death. And for 12 years I thought if I figured a way to escape, I would change, I would be free.

I did escape. I did find and met the real world. But in the end what I realized is that I was free where I was and the outside world is a lot more punishing, weird and authoritarian than the world we live among four walls. In there, I could be who I really was, something the society couldn’t accept.
But with the years I learned to be who I am even without anybody’s acceptance.
A killer.
A monster to many. But just me.

The following songs are from this chapter of my life:
Not Free Enough
Inapt World

14 Responses to “A killer’s past”

  1. Jack, you can’t punish the others for your own suffer.If they locked you in the past, it’s them who you must punish. But it’s not killing and taking even inocent lives that you can have “peace” in your life.

    Why do you kill the others? Dont ever think that it s something natural.It’s wrong…VERY WRONG, and is not the best way of having a revenge.

    Jack, I may help you if you decide to do the right thing. If you don t, you’are still being my enemy.

  2. I don’t know why, but this touched me.
    “/ It’s a weird feeling for me. To be TOUCHED (not physicall) by a SERIAL KILLER. Ahah, but you paranoid me, I must admit that. I’d be lying if I told you I hate what you do, because I don’t. You are messed up in the brain, that’s a fact, but, who isn’t! I surely know I am!

    But, once I know I’m going to die, (in this case, if I was in those chains… uncomfortably lying down or on my knees) I would not be afraid. Yeah, that shit going in my ears will hurt like fxck, but that doesn’t mean I’m afraid. If you stick a knife down my spine, cut my legs off, picked off pieces of my face, and took pictures of me, I wouldn’t care. Honestly, my life sucks. So I’d go to you if I wanted to die.

    There are tons of people I want to kill. I don’t kill them though because I can maintain myself. There is not much to life. I don’t see why most of us have to live it.

    I would become a killer, I would chloroform it all up, I would stalk people… I would create a room for torturing. Khmer Rouge style. If I knew how.

    ok… that’s alot. bye.

    • What? A new “serial killer” is being born??

      Ok…I ll give you the same advice.

      If you are not with me, then I m against you.

      Was I clearly enought?

      If you want to be another crazy on like jack, go ahead.But you won t have a lng time on it. You are not like jack. You wouldn t resist the pressure, your couldn’t take the heat.

      Dont even try to be crazy as him, because you won’t be able to and will just waste MORE you life.

  3. Okay,
    A new serial killer is being born?
    No, dick face.
    Instead, I, in a way, said I would if I could.

    I never said I was anything like J.A.C.K.
    Don’t you dare make goddamn assumptions, bitch.

    Yeah, I’m nothing like J.A.C.K.
    I never related myself to him.
    And thanks to him, I have to fight with a stupid – ass online?
    Thanks J.A.C.K.
    You’ve made life fucking easier.

    C’mon, what the fuck?
    Don’t agitate me with your stupid words, dumbass.

    You know nothing about me.
    You never will know anything about me.
    And if you do, will I give a fuck?

    Probably not, because there is nothing special going on.
    I, honestly, would become a killer. But it’ll never happen.

    I can’t sit on the floor for five minutes thinking nothing but nothing.
    I usually think of how hard I have to work to get where I need to get.
    So, yes, I’m not WORTHY enough to become LIKE JACK.

    J.A.C.K is god to every serial killer in the world.
    I’m not going to worship him though.
    I won’t kiss – ass.

    Whatever. Your shit is gay.
    IDGAF about you or JACK.
    Let me be me.

    • Ok…sou you know how to say “bad words”… wow…you’re realy bad ( Y )

      So please…SHUT UP!

      You don t represent nothing for me…or for my whole organization.

      Come back to your lake, little fish.

  4. Girly Girl Says:

    All of us had a rough childhood. I remember the horrible things they did to me, they come to me everynight in my restless dreams.
    But they dont know im in The Darkness now, but soon night will fade in light and “social calls” will start.

  5. I guess this is where our stories parallel. I was born like you J.A.C.K., a monster. A Darkness inside that I could not explain. I have no dark past, no deep dark secret that points to why I am who I am. I had a great childhood. As “normal” as it gets. Maybe that’s why I’m not a cold hearted murderer like you, like my victims. Sure sometimes I lie to myself and say things like, “It’s the RIGHT thing to do” or “They deserve this”. But that’s not the real reason I do what I do.
    Am I a Hero
    or a Villain?
    Avenging Angel
    or a Devil’s Reject?
    I guess I’ll let you decide.

  6. Ok jack, you realy let me confused now.

    You get out of this place you said befor, and according to the music, you wanted to “live it hard”, you wished it when you were in that place.
    Jack, I know this is not what you wanted. This is not how you wanted to live, and you know that this is not the best way of “living hard”, because you know that serial killers, don t matter how good they are, the dont last too long.C mon jack, we may help you if you want.

    But there’s something more. You said, in a part of “Inapt world”,:
    “Time to live
    Regain my belief
    on the mankind
    Trouble-filled
    Now that I’m free
    I’m alive

    Now I live
    What I believe is real
    The pain I don`t feel
    Now that I’m free
    I’m alive”

    You said you have faith jack!! C mon! When I read it i realized that there’s something more wrong with you…but them i read this:
    “All this weight
    Freedom so long I’ve waited
    Showed that’s not delight
    Showed there’s command
    Time to live…”

    So all that you want is a total freedon?? Do you want make your own rules jack?? Cmon, tell us about your past…tell us more things…I have a lot of questions now. Once I read that you had a wife… tell us about her jack.

    Cmon, let me help you getting you out of this darkness…for you have faith again in the human kind.

  7. […] some other occasions that happened to me in the past so I decided to write it down. As I said before, I was locked into a stranger’s basement for 12 years. 12 really long years. That’s how I spent […]

  8. Owlhead0321 Says:

    Man, should I be connecting with you?
    Dammit J.A.C.K.

  9. Owlhead0321 Says:

    Man, should I be connecting with you?
    Damn you Jack, damn you to hell.

  10. Owlhead0321 Says:

    Man, should I be connecting with you?
    Damn you Jack, damn you to hell and back.

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