Archive for July, 2009

A killer’s past

Posted in Diary with tags , , , , , on July 27, 2009 by J.A.C.K.

I dream with death. I mean, I have dreams, not nightmares.
I dream with killing, with blood, corpses, human parts.
That’s what I see when I’m sleeping. That’s what I feel even when I’m in bed, with my eyes closed.
And this is a good feeling. I know that’s the hardest part for you to understand, but it really is a good, natural sensation. There is nothing bizarre on it, at least for me. It’s a fulfilling pleasure, so good that I even dream with!

How can that be bad? If it’s, than I was meant to be bad. I’ve born like this.
And I know many are born like me.

I’ve not only been born like this, but I was made who I am.
I didn’t have a normal past. It’s not that I believe anybody does because there isn’t such a thing as normal, but I had a pretty hard childhood (at least that’s what I used to think at the time).

I spent 12 years locked into a stranger’s basement, been treated like an animal. I didn’t know the outside world, the world didn’t know me. All I got to see was pain, and suffering, and blood, and death. And for 12 years I thought if I figured a way to escape, I would change, I would be free.

I did escape. I did find and met the real world. But in the end what I realized is that I was free where I was and the outside world is a lot more punishing, weird and authoritarian than the world we live among four walls. In there, I could be who I really was, something the society couldn’t accept.
But with the years I learned to be who I am even without anybody’s acceptance.
A killer.
A monster to many. But just me.

The following songs are from this chapter of my life:
Not Free Enough
Inapt World

Do you really want to find a serial-killer?

Posted in Diary with tags , , , , , on July 20, 2009 by J.A.C.K.

The detective from the last post turned into ashes.
Saying like that doesn’t sound like a very painful process, but I can assure that it was. I kept him alive for 5 days, at least in parts.

It’s fun to observe how these detectives behave before they get to know me and after. It’s easy to be brave sitting in front of a computer, virtually chasing someone, but they never keep it up sitting in my chair.

This last guy was very productive to me. First, and most important, it was very fun and pleasant to slowly take his life, and watch him pray every of his last 432,000 seconds to die fast. And second because in his suffering he gave as much information about his fellow detectives and this Intelligence and Surveillance Agency as he could. Unfortunately (or fortunately) they don’t communicate much among them, so he didn’t know everything.

Now I know more about my preys who think that are hunters. I will let them keep thinking that by now: they won’t see me coming. I guess they have no idea of what they are playing with. When they usually realize, there is no turn back.

To get rid of this body I decided to do something different. I didn’t want anybody to find even a small piece of him, so he would be given as missing for as long as possible. So I made a big barbecue from his corpse. I didn’t eat it though. I left his body floating in alcohol for a whole day, so it could absorb the flammable substance like a sponge. The next day I used my barbecue grill to toast it to the bones, just leaving the ashes. It worked beautifully.

For anyone who finds and reads my journal: if you don’t have the balls to face me, don’t go after me. Maybe sometime you will find what you are looking for. What are you most afraid of? Death? Most of my victims think I’m way worst than death. Give it up and maybe, just maybe, you won’t have the pleasure to meet me.

A not so easy murder

Posted in Diary with tags , , , , , , on July 13, 2009 by J.A.C.K.

With all the information I’ve gathered from my past victims I have defined some new targets. I have their names, addresses, occupation, even some pieces of conversation among them.
I’ve been following the steps of this “Intelligence and Surveillance Agency” but now it seems that many detectives have either given up, or are too frightened, or are really lost and don’t know what to do now. I know what to do.

The last two weeks I’ve been after one of its detective. I was observing each of his steps, but it was kind of difficult to make a move at first. The guy didn’t live alone, he lived with his family. The route he used to do everyday, from his house to the work, and backwards, was too crowded. He didn’t use to get out home much, and when he did, was to a public place.

I don’t want the members of the agency to know that I’m hunting them, so I’m trying to don’t show that this people disappearance or death are in reality murders (at least don’t make it too obvious).

So I just waited and observed. It’s not as easy as it sounds because when you are after someone, you don’t want people in the community to notice you have been observing. I was leaving my car some blocks away, never at the same place, and stood hiding in a spot I found near his house. Everyday. Same thing when he was working, I was just waiting for the best time to strike.

Finally this past Friday he called for a taxi at night. He got into it alone and I followed him. He stopped at a bar, and started drinking with some of his friends. Right away, I drove looking for a taxi stop kind of far from the bar, and found one that there was just one cab waiting. I stopped the car, got to it walking, and asked the driver to take me to a street I knew (it was a very dark and uninhabited street). As soon as he got there, I killed the driver with a knife, cutting his throat. Got the things he had to pretend a robbery, left his body there, and drove back to the bar where my friend was standing. And I waited some blocks away from it, in a place that I still could see the bar.

I was paying attention when the “detective” got out of the bar, waiting for something. At this time I realized he must have called for a taxi and was now waiting for it. So I drove there, stopped right in front of him, and without having to say a thing, he got into the car. He told me his destination (his house). He was seating in the back seat, what made things a little bit more difficult. But what helped is that he was kind of drunk.

When I got at the address and he was going to pay for the ride, I grabbed his hands, pulled him closer to me, and injected a substance I had prepared at his arms. He tried to scream, but the little time he had before falling asleep I held him by the throat.

All I had to do then was take him to my torture room, and burn the taxi leaving no clues behind. That’s what I did. Now the poor guy is sitting in my chair. Let’s see how long he will last.


Posted in Diary with tags , , , , , , , on July 7, 2009 by J.A.C.K.

Many people think that part of what we are is that we have rituals. We, vampires as “SiN” commented on the last post, get to do always the same thing for killing, hunting, stalking, etc. Like if we had some kind of mind disorder.

I do have some rituals, specially for killing. I love to take someone’s life at my torture room, my death temple. When I do it, I like to use a screwdriver. I usually tie the victim to my chair using a rope, and I take some time to finish my job. Not hours, but days. I like to enjoy it calmly, like when we have a delicious meal and we start eating by the borders, leaving the best part to the end.

But the reality is that everyone have rituals. Your routine is filled with it. When you wake up and first wash your face, then make and egg, then brush your teeth, and do the same everyday (usually in the same order). When you dress and prepare yourself to go out, transforming yourself from your workaday self to a more self-confident one. Before going to bed, when you turn off all the lights and computers, lock the door, prepare your clothes and material for the other day.

You’ll notice that you have a lot of rituals. But you have it to feel protected, secure. To help you with your fears.

My rituals are not to protect me from anything. They are more like “best-practices”. I’ve learned with time and experience what I enjoy the most. It is extremely pleasant to seek for a new prey, and to observe its everyday routine. And the capture part is so fun, I like to plan it, to imagine and re-imagine what I’m going to do, to think on all the possibilities. With time, I’ve learned the best ways to do it, not just the most effectives, but the most pleasing.
That’s why sometimes I repeat it, not to feel more secure. Not like you.