Murder without remorse

I have been thinking about my childhood these days. Usually when things happened to me, like when I heard that somebody had died or had suffered an accident, or even when I had a “date”, I didn’t feel a thing. I was never sad or happy. But I could notice how people behaved on those situations, and I thought it was something they’d learned. So I used to think I didn’t know how I should feel because I was still too young.

So I started to observe and learn how I was expected to answer to every situation, so I could copy it. The movies were one of the sources to my learning process. I didn’t pretend anything just because I knew I had to hide who I really was, but because I thought everyone was just like me and that was the normal thing to do, to pretend emotions.

Now that I’m an adult, with all my experience, I’m still not sure if people can actually feel what they show or if they’ve learned it just like me. I mean, I’ve watched on documentaries and read on books about serial killers that the main difference about me and the “normal” are the emotions, that psychopaths don’t have feelings. And I am really like this.
But sometimes I think if in reality people in general don’t mix their feelings with what they are expected to feel. If they don’t pretend it just like me to seen like the others. If it is just something they were taught.

It’s not the first time I question it to myself because that’s something I really would like to know. The real difference between me and the “others” maybe is just a very thin line. It doesn’t really matter to me, it will make no difference to my life, but that’s a big curiosity I have.

To the crazy, the normal is crazy. Who are the “normal” in our world? Should I really be condemned and persecuted or follow? That’s something you should ask to yourself and learn with your instincts. And if you can, share with me.

16 Responses to “Murder without remorse”

  1. you are the greatest philosopher in the whole world u know ?!!

    they should give award or something for that
    but oops u wont get it except in HELL 😛

    BTW can u dif the word persecuted for me ?

  2. Rafael(k) Says:

    Hi Jack, been some time that we don´t talk.

    I think that we are pushed to show some fellings in specifc situations.But we don´t need to accept this. If you fell something,let it feel. Let this flow..

    The reason i chase you is because you are hurting other people with all this.
    Stop this Jack.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    i have a mission for you.
    you are a pro, i need you.
    accept? yes or no? reply here and i will contact you further

  4. Girly girl Says:

    I think feelings is something you learn just like religion, i never liked but in fact i learned religion(3 most importants in world) and then realized religion is a way to control people, dont you think? that’s one of reason im totally atheist, i learned religion but i didnt like it because is the most big lie ever.
    Back to feelings, they never taught to me, being a little girl i hardly felt anything, many of my relatives died and i felt not nothing, not even a tear, i call myself “robot”.
    I wonder have feelings is good? have not feelings is bad? something is wrong with me? i guess not, im just different, coldly icely.
    Ciao, bambina? bambino?
    P.S: it is weird, i dreamed today i was going to meet someone, im not sure but i think is you, arent you? i dont know but nice to meet you, beautiful thing!

  5. FLOW NAVAGATER Says:

    JACK i feel the same way.. how it would feel just to kill some thing gives u a cert en happiness and just knowing the correct time to kill is perfect… JACK to me it would be an honor to be killed by your hand!

  6. life is like a game sometimes u win the game sometimes u dont death is beautiful if i was to die of your cause i would feel no pain just happiness…

  7. philip duong Says:

    the trials and tribulations life present us with challenge our priori and postiori, there is no way “we” should feel just the way you should feel. Your experiences alone will determine how you will feel when you experience certain things. If you ask me which i know you didn’t i believe perhaps your emotional detachment to the mediocrities in life are pushing you towards your desire to be something more than that which you have observed. Do not listen to anonymous and his mission, as it only requires emotionlessness.

  8. DJ Mortik Says:

    Jack…do you believe that any of these people wish to kill with you? they do not have the guts….the passion…or the need to kill….I do….you do…i have…you have…so tell me Jack….will you accept me?

  9. I use fake Emails Says:

    Yea I know what you mean Jack I dont know feelings ether

    In my childhood years My dad died and I didnt care then my bigger brother was sent to a foster home cuz my family was so disfunctional (my mom didnt want to raise him because he was addicted on drugs)
    I honestly dont give a crap all I want to do is sleep
    Im always tired I usually sleep around 14 hours a day

  10. You don’t understand pyschosis it does’t prevent emotion, it randomises it, pain can be changed into pleasure, anger into glee and none of it can be controlled, luck of the draw really

  11. I find that killing is ok, but i generally think that it is neccisary to have reasoning behind it. I want nothing in the world more than to watch all that oppose me suffer, and drown in their own blood. I only feel this way if they have done something to me personally, or simply just annoy me. Also, I think i may become a KKK killer. Not killing africans, but killing kkk members. I hate their ignorence, becuase they believe that they are superior just because of their skin color. They shall pay for their ignorence. As for now, i’ll just finish high-school. I don’t think i’m crazy, i just have a more effective strategy of taking care of my problems.

  12. Owlhead0321 Says:

    No matter how many topics you bring up doesn’t change the fact, the INEVITABLE fact. You have sinned.

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