This weekend I spent locked in my apartment. I am what I am, but that’s not all that I am. Although I have other necessities, maybe different from you, have you ever thought that I don’t spend every minute just killing or hunting? (unfortunately though, because I think about it all the time)
Well, what I do with my “free time” is very unusual, I noticed. I don’t have a very active social life, I don’t like it, but I have to keep the appearance to the society. I have a regular job, I’m not gonna tell you what I do right now to don’t make things easy to the so called “detectives”, but I do work. Anyone in there never suspected a thing. I don’t like people so much, it’s probably something about how I was raised, but I know if I didn’t get out with some colleagues every now and then it could call the attention. So I do it.
But what I like the most is to spend my “free time” locked alone, when I’m not looking for any entertainment. I just like the sensation of not having any contact at all with the outside world. Just me and my thoughts inside four walls.
For some reason everything that I do have a bitter taste to me, if it doesn’t involve blood. But I do like the bitter taste of reading, of thinking, but above everything, of planning my next strike, of remembering the past deaths. Every killing I have in my back, the memories of it seems to give me power, energy. I remember every detail of each one. In a way, my preys live forever with me.
I live in an apartment, not in the house that I keep my torture room. It would be too obvious, too easy to be incriminated. I don’t even live near by it. There is nothing in my apartment that’s not “normal”. It took some time for me to learn what normal is to the world, but I did learn. Maybe you are one of my “friends”. Maybe you have visited my apartment. I can assure you that you would never notice the monster inside me.
The way I have survived all this time without being caught is that I avoid the most to take the life of people that could be linked to me. Just killing random people makes it almost impossible to get caught. It’s not like I never did it, but I avoid it the best I can. All that “CSI” stuff we watch on TV makes people think that the police can solve any crime, and that’s what they want you to believe. But the truth is that they can’t. The cops may have all that technology, but they won’t use it for every crime, it would be too expensive. And without having a body, there is no way that they could get to you investigating the disappearance of someone that you are not linked with.
I am what I am because I can afford it, it’s not for everyone. Many end up in jail, I never did, never will. As I like to say, my best is my worst.